The Hampton Review

Poetry

Two Poems by Violet Binczewski

How a Question Saved My Life

I walked into a party

Lights dancing around the floor

But I think they were too blinding

Because no one saw me melt through the door

People smiled and asked me how I was

It was like a reflex when I said “good, how are you?”

They didn’t see

that I was coated in blue

And in the back of my mind words were swimming their way up my throat

The only thing I was living on was hope

Because I was sinking faster than a ship

I was old pottery, all chipped

But still, it was all just too quick

We all sat down and let the moment slip into the past

The living room was so bright

My dark blue a deep contrast

I thought that maybe they had forgotten about me

My eyes were too dark, I walked like a ghost

Or maybe they just didn’t want to see someone else

In the place of the girl they once had loved most

But someone noticed when I wasn’t singing

Someone noticed that I was far, far, away

She came and sat next to me and greeted me with a smile

And I smiled back so wide it must have been as long as a mile

She said “Are you ok, and don’t lie to me, I can smell it from a mile away”

And I nearly broke down into tears, because she saved my life that day

All she did was smile and ask me a question

But to me it was the world

Someone had given me their attention

Someone had noticed something was wrong

I thought I was invisible

I hadn’t seen kindness in so long

But it was there that day

Like a daisy blooming in May

Kindness was glowing

And I wanted it to stay

And I let every last word that fell from my lips

Into her heart

And together we weaved this strange,

Beautiful little work of art

It was like butterflies appeared out of thin air

Flowers are weaving their way through my hair

I used to want to shave my head

But now there’s a garden growing in my bed

And I remember feeling like I could breathe again

And thinking that this is what they meant

When they said to be kind all the way back in kindergarten

How quickly we forget

We carry moments that never happened like regrets

Because kindness is seeing what others don’t want to see

Racing to pollinate flowers like a honey bee

It is noticing that while everyone else

is running around in the sun

there is someone

with a rain cloud over their head

Getting soaked

and walking over to them and offering an umbrella

May just save their life

A single act of kindness saved my own life

A question glued me back together

And now I am returning the favor

Through the words that fell onto this page

Because this poem is an act of kindness

And now it is up to you

To make a change.

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Loving You

Loving you is like trying to get blood from stone

It’s when your house doesn’t feel like home

It’s listening to the clock tick at 3 am

All alone

I miss when you used to kiss me on the cheek

How our music was hardwood floor creaks

How you painted your whole house green

Just because it was my favorite color

I tell myself that it’s all in my head

That you just didn’t hear what I said

You’ll come back to me, I just know

You just don’t realize you let go

Sometimes loving you

Is watching the sunset bleed into the water

Like we’re on a beach of pink sand,

And the only thing I can think about

Is holding your hand

Loving you is falling through lavender smoke

Violets twisting their way around my throat

Holding my breath

Preparing to break my bones

But you catch me

And I fall home

Sometimes when you drift off to sleep

My heart starts pounding in my chest

As if it’s trying to break out of my body

Like I’m having a nightmare

But my eyes are wide open

Staring up at the stars

Glowing

On my bedroom ceiling

It terrifies me

To my bones

That I love you this much

Loving you is holding my breath

When I pick up the phone

I never know which version of you I will get

Will your words burn me through the phone?

Or will they finally put me to sleep?

I don’t know if you are mine to keep

I’m alone in a crowded room

Everyone is screaming

But all I hear is you

If I got to ask one question

That I would have the answer to

I would ask whether or not

To run away from you

When I wake up

I am in love

When I go to bed

I am heartbroken

Never know who you’ve chosen

To love

If you looked across the memories

Strung through my head like lights

There is pain, there is beauty

There is sleepless nights

I don’t know if I should trust you

Let go or hold on

with all my might

Chills creep up my arms

And words are heavy on the tip of my tongue

You’re calling again

But you’ve played me

For too long

I will always love you

Will always smile when I hear our song

I wish you the world

I wish you all of the prettiest dreams

But you’ll be falling asleep

Without me.

Violet Binczewski is a sophomore who attends the Mount Saint Joseph Academy in Flourtown, Pennsylvania. She began writing in second grade and fell in love with the craft from a very early age. As an avid reader and writer, poetry has played a crucial role in her life as she navigates through everything that comes her way. Her own book of poetry will be published later this year.